Rules

1) Never expect something from someone that they don't want to give
2) Never play a game when the opponent is setting up the rules
3) Act, DO NOT react.

Do you like me?

Lessons in Hunger, Anne Sexton 

"Do you like me?"

I asked the blue blazer. No answer. Silence bounced out of his books. Silence fell off his tongue and sat between us and clogged my throat. It slaughtered my trust. It tore cigarettes out of my mouth. We exchanged blind words, and I did not cry, and I did not beg, blackness lunged in my heart, and something that had been good, a sort of kindly oxygen, turned into a gas oven. Do you like me? How absurd! What's a question like that? What's a silence like that? And what am I hanging around for, riddled with what his silence said?

Relationships

"I can't give you the guarantees you want."
"I don't want guarrantees."
"Yes you do, I can see how you want me to be. You want me to be different, I'll always feel like I was failing you, you keep hoping I'd change, you'd end up hating me. I'm just trying to be realistic, because there is a strong likelihood that we're gonna cause each other a lot of pain... This is who I am, these are my limits."
"I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me"

The little boy who knew

I woke up this morning and the camp advisor gave me a cup of hot chocolate for breakfast. I love hot chocolate. It is so sweet and it makes me happy. But sometimes I am not happy. Sometimes I am sad.There is a boy here at camp named Andrew, I used to talk to him but he never listens. So I stopped talking to him. He came the other day and asked me if I was his friend. I told him yes, but I didn’t mean it.Everything seems to have a name and everything seem to have a number. Isn’t it funny? But why is it that we don’t see the words and numbers all at the same time?Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a tree. Would a tree ever know all of the names and numbers in the whole wide world? If I have nothing else to do but sit there I would count all the numbers and words in the world. Everything would make sense.I drew a picture the other day. It was black. When the teacher asked me why I was scribbling, I didn’t say anything. She asked me if I was drawing the sky. I didn’t say anything. How can it be the sky if there is only one sky? It’s black. I like the way it felt to scribble on a paper.

The weaker sex

A man parts a woman’s arms and legs to expose her breast and genitalia. He smiles bemused at the woman’s embarrassment and says: “why are you hiding? They look beautiful.”

Right now, he thinks she’s cute. Right now he thinks he is seeing a beautiful woman who does not know the value of her own beauty. Let him think that today, but the poor bastard will be surprised when she breaks his heart tomorrow.

Letter to Myself

God, give me the strength to get over Myself. I’m not speaking to Myself anymore. It’s negative, puzzling, abusive, and unkind. It blames the world for its own laziness and does not know how to adapt and make the best of every situation. Myself is selfish and self-absorbed. It keeps going back to analyzing its own traits and characters, virtues and fault, and is blinded by this perspective. It is unable to see beyond itself. Myself is defeatist. It lacks ambition and positivism and a joy of life. It wants to yell at my mom when it gets home, just because it knows that she can take it. It wants to complain to others, just because it wants to overwhelm others like it has overwhelmed me. But Myself is wrong. Myself doesn't understand that if it steps away from itself, it would see the other things on the horizon. Myself needs to move, and change, and stop being afraid of everything and everyone. Fear rules Myself just like Myself has ruled me. But I am strong, and I am ambitious, and I am driven and I will not let Myself blind me from seeing a better perspective. Myself is not I. And I am not Myself. Myself could go to hell, because I will do better. Today. 

Everything has a name and everything has a number

Everything has a name, and everything has a number.

The world, is made up of words and numbers. And understanding this would help you understand how you deal with the world. Are you one? Or are you two? Are you three, four, or five? Are we one? Is it a body? Or is it my arms? My arms are part of my body, does that mean that my arms should have a different number than my body? Two arms. One body. Two eyes. Three parts. Five fingers. One hand. Millions of cells. One soul. One spirit? One way. Two ways. Does anyone see what I am seeing?

Everything has a name, and everything has a number.

Truth is in a name, and truth is in a number.