Create thy self

I had a plan, a purpose: to know myself.

New plan: create thy self.

Does anyone know how much I struggled with authenticity? How much working out (a year ago) seemed to be a betrayal to who I am as a person? How I had a hard time, when I was 9, letting go of the concept that it's ok to see classmates passing notes in class and not tell the teacher about it, even tho (in my head) it is was so fundamentally wrong? How I hated, and despised, and rebelled against my classmates in high school? How I am slipping on different personalities every day to find what works and what doesn't?

Yeah, authenticity doesn't come easy when your schemas keep falling apart. As an idealistic kid and teenager, I had a very hard time accepting the fact that things are not going according to an ideal. As a  changing, altering, emerging adult I have a very hard time defining who I am.

People always tell you: Just be yourself.

Nope. Create yourself. I get to choose who I want to be. And I will choose who I want to be. And right now I am flexible.